


Happiness You Wished For

by Draikinator



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Time Travel, Timeline bs, canon befuddlement?, theres a conspiracy here, this is dunb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9105664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draikinator/pseuds/Draikinator
Summary: I swear to god yoi is just a kawoshin ice skating au





	

This is not the first time you have lived.

It probably won’t be the last, either. You were born in Russia this time, nowhere near Japan, to a normal family in a normal world. This is one of those loops where you never even meet. Those are the worst ones. You’ve accepted the ones where you die, because you’re used to it, but to never even have a chance to try and make this loop the last one, to have no chance of winning because you didn't even get to play the game- those are the worst.

You take some time for yourself.

You like this place because it gets cold here, really cold, and it reminds you of the first place you existed on this planet. You spend your afternoons as a child on an ice rink gliding across the surface because a stranger tells you once that you look like an angel when you skate and it makes you want to skate forever. You get really good at it.

You feel tallest in this timeline when you’re standing on a podium, but somehow, not tall enough. The stars are still out of reach. The one person you’re looking for is never standing there with you. You don’t even know if he knows you exist, even though you’re world famous, now, which you didn't expect to be when you started.

When you’re twenty six you win another qualifier and a boy you’ve never met, a competitor who lost looks at you. You wave and ask if he wants a photo but he looks downward in a way so familiar it makes your human heart ache. You don’t know his name, but he reminds you of him. But it’s not him. It’s never him.

You meet him later at a party and you know it definitely isn’t him. He’s outgoing and daring and filled with life and passion and he pole dances like he’s had lessons and he grabs you by the tie and pulls you in and makes you smile and it reminds you why you chose to save humankind in the first place- how wonderful life is, how wonderful it is to exist and be alive and feel things and do things. This form of existence must be preserved and you revel in it, until the night is over.

You go home.

It's ages later, or maybe a few weeks, when your facebook feed gets obliterated by messages to watch a video with your name in the title. You open it.

And it is him. You don’t know how you didn’t realize it before but it is him. The way he moves, the way his movement moves through him. Everything screams ITS ME ITS ME ITS ME HOW COULD YOU FORGET and you aren’t quite sure how you forgot. He was always like this- a brilliant light smothered in darkness, a bird in a cage. But this existence gave him freedom, somehow. Something about this world had given him something he’d been missing beforehand.

You get on the next plane. It’s worth it. It’s worth every moment. Every lifetime.

You win.


End file.
